What a mistake!
Unpacking and installation was straight forward enough, but the test pages came out completely black. That sure wasn't in the instructions. And thus my ordeal began.
This site gives the saga of my on-going attempts to get a working HP printer. The unit I bought arrived defective. Okay, hey, that happens in life. Unfortunately while my goal has been to get it serviced or replaced, apparently the HP service goal is to ensure I do not get it fixed.
This ordeal was confounded by my attempts to simply communicate with some HP manager -- any HP manager -- to express what I've learned about their process. After all, that might be seen as a chance to do better and improve, right? Not at HP. At this rate, I think monkeys will fly out of my butt before someone there will even listen.
Bottom line:
Are you an HP manager? Congratulations! You're the first one to
read this for all my attempts to contact the company! Tell me ... is my
experience how you want the world to see you in the future?
Are you a student or colleague? Remember this saga, and feel free
to drop by the office for even more details!
Are you a consumer looking at HP products? What were you THINKING???
My first mistake was calling the 800 number in the flier with their instructions. That gets me to an automated voice recognition system to navigate, only to find after several minutes of exchange this is only a 9 to 5 service. Next day, that doesn't work - dated number, I guess. It took more sleuthing with my campus staff the next day to find an 800 number that would work.
Okay, so I finally connect with the right number and go through their damndable inflexible voice recognition system, and find the right test to do to identify whether the problem is in the engine itself or the firmware. Off to test - it's the firmware. It needs a board replaced.
Back to HP. I can pack it up, ship it to HP (at my expense) or take it to an authorized service center for warranty work. No pick order from a shipper? For a new unit that has yet to print its first correct page? No. Okay. The phone answerer guides me to a local firm that does HP warranty work, and look, isn't far. Okay take it in.
The following week I check in for status. Sorry sir, it needs a new board (I knew that), and that is back ordered at HP. Might be a couple weeks, but nobody knows. We'll call you when we get it done.
A couple weeks?
Well, my printer is held hostage now. So I get it in my head to call back to HP ... you know, customer feedback and all that. Back to the automated voice recognition system.
I finally got an operator (in who knows what part of the world) who listened to the story and then wanted to go down his flowchart of what operating system did I use, and did I connect it up right. ("That's not why I'm calling, and besides, the unit didn't survive long enough in the installation process to get to the point where I would have decided which computer to connect!" "Sir, I need you please to tell me what operating system you are connecting it to so we can possibly help your situation.") This was obviously going nowhere, so I asked for a supervisor. And the phone answerer hung up.
So I dialed back, went through the same problems, got another answerer, explained the situation, politely asked if they cared about selling any more products to the university and didn't some manager somewhere want to at least know about how this looked to the consumers, at which point the person offered me a supervisor. That transfer went to a phone which only rang and rang and rang. (I gave up listening after about 3 minutes.)
So I dialed back, went through this again, got to tech support and a helpful sounding person who listened to all this, started down the flow chart but knew when not to push the issue of whether I was using a Mac or Windows box, then offered that there is a separate consumer relations desk I should be talking with, gave me the number and offered to transfer me there. After a couple minutes hold he came back and very nervously explained they weren't answering there, and he would try again. I told him no and hung up.
So I waited a while, dialed the consumer number given, hit the option he cited and waited. After a minute, touch tone sounds beep away and I get connected to .... nothing. Empty space. Dead air. Nothing. That's 100% repeatable.
Present status: an HP printer I bought in August has yet to print its first successful page, is now held hostage at a local HP repair center and the HP corporate structure gets more aggravating the more I try to communicate basic consumer feedback.
Update of Monday, 11 October. Lacking anything else to do, I found the web site for Carly Fiorina, head of HP, who gives a helpful web page for commentary from the world. In the afternoon I send a synopsis of what has happened to date.
Update of Tuesday, 12 October. The autoresponder finally gets a
message back to me, a "valued customer."
Thank you for taking the time to send HP your comments. We apologize for the difficulties you are experiencing. Your comments have been forwarded to the appropriate
people within Hewlett-Packard for their information and / or action. Should
more clarification or information be needed, you may be contacted directly. You
r input is important to us and very much appreciated.
It was signed "HP Executive Communications"
Update of 5:52PM Friday, 15 October. Wow, human communication! At least a start. On my office voice mail I hear from "Mary Chandler" who handles Carly's messages. Well, upon trying to call back we find it is an office "Mission Control" somewhere in the midwest, but hey, it's a start. She wants more information about my situation. I call back and leave voice mail starting the telephone tag process.
Update of Monday, 18 October. Another message left for Mary Chandler, whose voice mail message says she is in the office to 4PM central time. So far no further responses.
Update of Tuesday, 19 October. Another message left for Mary Chandler, today her message says she is out for the day.
Update of Thursday, 21 October. Another message left for Mary Chandler, whose voice mail message indicates she is in today.
Update of Monday, 25 October. Ditto.
Update of Tuesday, 26 October. Wow! A voice other than electronic answers and I have a pleasant conversation with Mary Chandler, who assures me a customer relations manager will contact me within 24 to 48 hours.
This experience is used as a case study in CMSC 435: "Software Engineering" as a demonstration of how NOT to handle customers.